Yearly Archives: 2013

Letter to Emma Goldman

by P.A. Levy

Dear Em,

I do wish, and of course you’re an exception to this, that Anarchists still grew bushy beards, so instantly recognisable from those reactionary Communist moustaches; which, let’s be honest look a bit gay.

Anyway, the reason I mention it, I was shopping in Sainsbury’s just last week, I’d run out of Garibaldi biscuits, when I swear to god, OK not to god , but dearest Em, Durruti is not dead.

Isn’t it exciting!

He already had some wine and bread and was selecting a packet of cheese produced by the Kazakhstan Revolutionary Workers Collective when I’m sure I heard him say: ‘I am satisfied with my basket. I have all I need.’

Such a star, and wouldn’t it be fantastic if you and all yer mates were still gigging.

Bakunin could host a chat show, Kropotkin could be a judge on Comrade’s Got Talent. There could even be a daily soap set in the Paris Commune.

Oops! My bad.

Sorry Em, I think I may just have got it wrong, I’m not too sure it was Durruti, now I come to think about it I think he was our milkman. I knew I recognised him from somewhere. No! I’m wrong again. He wasn’t the milkman, he was the barman at the Pink Pantaloon Pub. But he does look a bit like our darling José only with a Stalinist moustache.

Sorry Em, er which I suppose means Durruti is still dead. Best go, gotta get me tea on.

I’ll write again soon.

Comrade X 

(and X stands for a kiss)

– Born in East London but now residing amongst the hedge mumblers of rural Suffolk, P.A.Levy has been published in many magazines, from ‘A cappella Zoo’ to ‘Zygote In My Coffee’ and stations in-between.  He is also a founding member of the Clueless Collective and can be found loitering on page corners and wearing hoodies at www.cluelesscollective.co.uk.

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The Secret Lives of Secret Lives

by Len Kuntz

The words are still razor wire, so I don’t say them aloud. Instead, I just think what I know – that my father enjoyed being beaten by women.

I found this out while sorting through his shoes boxes. There were piles of pictures stuffed inside a boot, Polaroid’s with my dad’s block letter handwriting at the bottom in some sort of cryptic code.

          HU^^Q^ = {}

          WL0 + ## = !!!

          7676 &&& NnN – %

          )))”’”::::::

The women wore costumes – red-paint pleather or latex – and snarled. Once in a while they jeered.

Sometimes there were implements involved. Other times they merely used their fists or feet. Each photo was a pornographic clown show made macabre.

I’m thinking about this as I stare at my wife dozing. The most violent she’s ever been to me was pounding the kitchen counter once when I forgot to pick up our daughter after ice skating.

She sleeps with an Asian-themed eye mask she got from the airlines on one of her antique shopping trips to the Far East. Both her hands cup the silk hem of the blanket as if she’s doing a chin up or peeping over someone’s fence. Her nails are chipped, but otherwise long and sharp. I imagine them raking across my face, ripping out chunks of my scalp, gouging an eye. None of that does a thing. I’m dead down there, my pulse unchanged.

All your life you think you know someone and then you discover you don’t. That must be how it is when neighbors learn the insurance salesman in the rambler ends up being a serial killer.

I retrace my past loves, sending them on a slow assembly line down my memory bank. Did I want them to hurt me? In any way?

The closest comparison I can find is Roxanne, the woman before my wife. I thought she was the one. Roxanne and I were engaged, then a month before the wedding she gave me news, saying I was a good listener and all, but bland in bed, that she would have helped me if she was the patient type. I laughed at first, thinking it a joke. Later that night, I sat in a corner, cradling a bottle of Jim Beam, crying like a toddler.

I try to think about all of the bad stuff I’ve thought or done but haven’t told anyone. Rounded up in giant dung heap of history, I’m surprised that it’s hardly as repulsive as I would have guessed. Even my misdeeds are bland, the darkest stuff only going as far as charcoal.

Still, the man’s blood is in me. His DNA detritus is coiled around mine. How can you share one and not the other, not even a little?

A few hours pass. I wake my wife up, nudging at first, then pushing until she flips the eye mask free.

‘I want you to do something to me,’ I say.

When I tell her, her eyes dance like sun-spackled diamonds, an eager smile unfolding.

I suck down a deep breath, hold it, wondering how I’ve ended up being so bad about judging others.

Len Kuntz is a writer from Washington State. His work appears widely in print and online at such places as Eunoia Review, The Northville Review and Abramelin. You can find him at lenkuntz.blogspot.com.

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Fake French Fish

by Teresa Stenson

She’s getting herself ready to go out with The Fish. I’ve seen them, acting like they’ve known each other for years. They’ll probably go to a posh restaurant. He’ll choose the wine with his French accent. He’s not even French! Not that she, or anyone else in this cul-de-sac, has noticed. They can’t see past the plate spinning, which, apparently, is part of a ‘front’ he puts on in public.

He’s actually very vulnerable,’ she says, applying red lipstick. Red!

‘Why you wearing that?’

‘So I can’t look nice now? It’s for me, George. I’ve told you, Christophe is my friend.’

‘Why can’t I come along?’

‘Because you’ll make him uncomfortable.’

‘Should be uncomfortable, all this air. Should be dead, biologically.’

‘Very nice, George. Accepting. How very accepting.’

It’s not just her – somehow he’s charmed the entire cul-de-sac. They’re all, ‘Oh, a fish with legs – he’s an evolutionary marvel.’

Oh, a fish walking out of water – basic! Nothing marvellous about it.

‘I don’t trust him. What kind of fish is he anyway?’

‘I think that is a very personal question and I for one will not subject him to such scrutiny.’ She blots her lipstick and tissue sticks to her bottom lip. Ha.

A car pulls up outside. ‘Honk, honk, he’s here!’ she yells, grabbing her handbag. I follow her to the door.

George, don’t be embarrassing.’

I’m waving you off.’

‘No you’re not.’

‘Yes I am.’

‘You dare.’

‘I do dare. I do!’ I say the ‘I do’ loudly, hoping it’ll remind her of our long ago vows. It doesn’t, and she leaves, pulling the door quickly behind her.

I run to the drive and shout, ‘It won’t be as easy as you think, Fake French Fish, to steal my wife!’

They zoom away in his open-top sports car, heads thrown back in laughter.

I remember the tissue-lip. ‘Ha’ I shout in her direction, even though she has gone.

– Teresa Stenson’s short stories have been placed in several international writing competitions including The Bridport Prize, The Willesden Herald and The Guardian Summer Reads. She is in the process of putting a collection of her stories together and can be found at www.teresa-stenson.blogspot.com.

 

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Ceramist

by Robert McGowan

E. L. Cutting. Egbert Ludwig. It’s hard to imagine any parent without cruel intent naming a defenseless infant Egbert Ludwig. In adulthood, understandably, he introduced himself as El, signed his name always as El, was known only as El.

El Cutting wasn’t a great artist, but of course few are. Still, he was good enough to have made The Big Time, or somewhere near it, had he been concerned to drive himself in that direction. Many artists far less than great are found in The Big Time, and El had, if only latently, the cunning and the energy required to get there. But making that effort wasn’t a priority for him. Truth is, it would have been hard to say whether El had any priorities at all, except for his work itself, about which he was passionate and protective. Everything else fell into the mid-range, where lie both the not-all-that-important and the could-be-somewhat-important-depending.

He made horses. Big ones. Big for a ceramist anyway. Which is a word he never used — ceramist. If he had no alternative to mentioning the material he worked in he would say, ‘I work in clay,’ or ‘I do terracotta sculptures’. Except for the most puffed up clay artists, or the very defiant ones, or the oblivious ones, ceramists in the fine arts are generally disinclined to use the words ceramist or ceramics in speaking of themselves or their work, this because of the hobbyist connotations of those terms. In fact when they can’t be called simply ‘artist’ or ‘sculptor’, or something else non-medium-specific, then the phrase clay artist is probably the handle they most widely prefer to go by. Underclasses of all stripes are ever at pains to define themselves and to settle on what words they want to be known by, and ceramists, as the stepchildren of the art world, are no exception.

The ceramist’s relatively lowly status in the art world has not been a consequence particularly of the limitations of the medium; printmaking and photography after all, both warmly enfolded within the high-art family, have their limitations too. No, the operative demeaning factor is clay’s ancient, almost exclusive identification with the humble aesthetics of craft, with utilitarian production pottery, and in this era with the hobbyists, the bisque painters, the slip casters of figurines, the makers of decorative kitsch.

But El’s horses were serious business. Some of them, made and fired in sections, approached life-size. Former fancy-dressed merry-go-round steeds, is what they dreamlike were, lying dead now and in advanced stages of putrefaction in livid visceral hues and remnants of garish fairground paints. How shockingly voluptuous decay can be. And the titles of these sculptures subtly evoked the piteous circumstances of this corruption: We found Beauty, a rotting buckskin pony appearing to have been caught inescapably in a tangle of barbed wire; Sunk, the remains of a colt mired helplessly in stream-bank mud; He got free, a lost horse starved to death on a grassless plain… All of this from dark memories of El’s childhood rural experience.

By any informed and unprejudiced judgment El’s horses were powerful works of art, wholly sufficient and uncompromised. For which reason he was faintly galled, from time to time more than a little defensive despite himself, about their being always spoken of or written about as ceramics, about his being more often referred to as a ceramist than a sculptor. ‘They don’t goddamnit say Richard Serra’s a steel sculptor, do they? di Suvero an I-beam sculptor. Or Louise Nevelson a wood sculptor. They’re plain sculptors! So why am I for Chrissakes a ceramic sculptor? The motherfuckers.’ With a drink or two or three in him he’d cuss and rant, cuss and rant. ‘Motherfuckers. Motherfuckers. Motherfuckers.’ But next morning he didn’t care anymore, or thought he didn’t, or behaved as though he didn’t. The disenfranchised typically take one of three routes: they knock ceaselessly and meekly on the door of The Legitimacy Office, seeking favor from on high, or if they can get by with it they vociferously demand affirmation, or they adopt a fuck-you attitude about the whole revolting shenanigans, refusing to humiliate themselves by revealing even the faintest hint of longing to consort with the sanctified. El wasn’t meek so would never have taken the first path, but he wasn’t bombastic either so wouldn’t have taken the second. He took the third, except that his indifference was only superficial and subject to undoing, especially in circumstances involving drink and provocation.

At the opening reception for El’s third solo with his midtown gallery, where for six years his work had sold reliably despite its unvarying depiction of foul decay, but paradoxically because of the riveting pathos attending that decay, his shows there having been over the years widely and favorably reviewed, El had too much gallery wine and punched a prominent art critic in the nose. One who throughout the evening had been razzing him with the term ceramic sculptor.

A few days later a brief account of the scuffle appeared in the local arts monthly.

SCULPTOR PUNCHES CRITIC

Next issue carried the critic’s review.

CERAMIST HORSES AROUND

‘Motherfuckers.’

Robert McGowan’s fiction and essays are published in over five dozen prominent literary journals in America and abroad, have been four times nominated for the Pushcart Prize, and have been several times anthologized. He is the author of the story collections NAM: Things That Weren’t True and Other Stories (Meridian Star Press (UK), 2011) and Stories from the Art World (Thumbnail Press, 2011). McGowan’s work as an artist is in numerous collections internationally. He lives in Memphis, Tennessee, USA. Website: http://robert-mcgowan.com.

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